Stefan’s Diaries: The Craving Chapter 29

Her name was the Mina M. She was a speedy ship and a function of beauty, with sleek lines and white sails. Her wooden mast was oiled to a sheen, boasting immaterial rose-cheeked flags that snapped in the breeze.I stood at the prow and closed my pumps, imagining our journey. The acrimonious salt air and the twinkling(prenominal) yellow sun would whip my cheeks red as the Mina cut done waves, leaving white sparkle and spray in her wake. Little silver fish would glint in the water below in their hurry to get discover of the way.On our travels we would see tiny skiffs cross the water loaded up with bananas and particular(a) in the West Indies. Wed trade for spices in India. Id fin all(prenominal) in ally see Italy, walk through the Sistine Chapel, marvel in front of the Duomo, and drink Chianti straight from the vineyard. by chance maybe this would be a new way of life for me. travel at the speed of water rather than confining myself to the shadows. Id never ride out in one port for too long, outrunning death and my curse. Sailors usually had no friends only when the men they crewed with I would fit right in. still and then I opened my nubball, my fantasy evaporating into the heavy midnight that surrounded me. A clayey cloud cover obscured the sky and any stars embedded in that location failed to give out through. The Mina slipped silently out to sea, cutting the oily water with only a hiss.This was the vampires realm. Though my ring allowed me to walk in the daylight, my world constituteed in unilluminatedness. It was then, while the sun slumbered, that I hunted, evaded enemies, spewed curses, broke promises, and gave myself over to hate. We had escaped Klauss minion, but we hadnt defeated him. He and his master were lock in out there, fewwhere, planning on future torture and death for me and Damon.Lexi came up on deck butt me and touched my shoulder.Were en route to San Francisco, she said quietly. Ive not been there in a while. But yo ull love the fog and dismal weather. Great for brooding. She gave me a thin smile. And I posterior tell youre going to be preferably the brooder.I leaned against the deck inveigh. I didnt have the heart to tell her that there would never be a place for me, that I would never fit. And I didnt deserve to, after all the lives Id ended.The night wind tousled my rich brown hair and Lexi tucked it behind my ear.He said an eye for an eye, I began.Yes. Well. Lexi took a deep sigh and sound offed serious for a moment, eyes narrowing. This is a fast ship and it will take him time to understand out our manifest. Besides the legal cargo of tea and coffee, theres a healthy shipment of opium theyre planning to pick up in Frisco. The captain failed to establish with the dock master, so it will be a while out front anyone figures out where we turn tail to.No. I mean yes, thats good. I rubbed a sudden spray of water from my eyes. But I meant he cut downed the people that were supposed to be our wives, because his Katherine was refineed.Lexi nodded, shivering.And then he grabbed you and was going to kill you and me, and probably Damon, in a church, just care Katherine was killed.Lexi narrowed her eyes. Im not sure I understand where youre going with this.If he was being so particular about whom he killed and in what manner, why didnt he sort out the place on fire?Lexi blinked. I saw her live on through the logic. She stayed silent for a long time. I couldnt read her eyes, but still I felt embarrassed to be thinking of Katherine at a time like this.Stefan, she began. Please listen to me. There are all levels of evil among our kind. From that old thing that commits great atrocities to minor, horrible little things that exist just for their own pleasure, regardless of whom it hurts.Katherine wanted you to become a vampire. And look at the results. Do not weep overmuch for her, Stefan, or anticipate for clues to her death or existence. Let her go. It is truly the be st thing you can do.I turned my head away from her and looked toward the only star bright seemly to shine through the cloud cover the North Star. Katherine was like that star fixed in place, a silent specter hang above me, a benchmark against which to measure my progress. No matter my feelings toward her, she had make me, and she would be with me always. Were not all evil, I said, putting my arm more or less her. Youre not.Im a lot older than you, she said gently. And who I am today isnt who Ive always been. Youre not the only one with things to atone for, Stefan. But Ive do a vow to myself to be different.Oh, ugh. Vows. Damon stumbled onto deck loudly. By Our Lord, havent we made enough vows for a lifetime?The marriages were your idea, not mine, I pointed out.Waah, wahh, Im a vampire, I had a really great wedding, great champagne, my br new(prenominal) rescued me, and Im still tortured.He bounced off the deck rails, palming the smooth wood and propelling himself back to the o ther side, port to starboard back and forth until he reached us. The untrained eye would have marked him as drunk, but there was a taleteller crimson smear in the corner of his lips. He was drunk with our escape, with our rescue, with the lifeblood of some poor cabin boy but not with drink. Not yet, at least.Yes, and speaking of rescues, Margaret I prompted.Damon sighed. When I confronted her about being able to hold water compulsion, Margaret admitted she was a witch and said she would help me.Just like that? I asked skeptically.Damon rolled his eyes. In return for us leaving New York and never coming back in her lifetime, at least. And, this is the part that kills me, returning the dowries.Aw, Damon. Im so sorry, Lexi said, her sparkling eyes belying her serious tone. Your plan to fleece the rich didnt work out. Better luck next time. She punched him lightly in the shoulder.We owe her our lives, I said seriously. She didnt have to help us at all. By all rights, she shouldnt ha ve. The protection spell she cast around her and her husband do you think it will really keep them safe?I have to believe. every way, shes a better soul than you lot, Lexi pronounced.And speaking of better souls I said, just now suppressing a smile, what made you come back and rescue me? I legal opinion you were hell-bent on never forgiving me and punishing me until the end of my days.Damons naughty eyes were veiled. Yes. Well, I meant every word. I will never exculpate you. I will torture your every living moment.I shake my head, tamping down the stirring of black rage interior me that wanted to foretell to Damon that he may have lost the love of his life, but I lost a life that I loved. And a father, and a home.And a brother.But as quickly as the rage flowed in, it ebbed back out again, leaving me hollow. How could I expect my brother to free me for turning him into a vampire when I couldnt forgive myself for it? He had once loved me, as I had once loved Katherine, but I w ould never, ever forgive her for making me what I was now.Damon took me by the shoulders. Besides, he added, the corners of his lips turning up, if anyone is going to kill you, its going to be me.Then, without another word, he leaped with vampiric speed to the deck rail itself, balancing without moving a muscle as the boat dip and rocked in the water, as though he were the ships figurehead, carved in shivery marble.He lifted his hand in salute. Ill be seeing you, brother.Then, to begin with I could even utter his name, he stepped off the rail and plunged into the dark water below.I raced to the edge of the boat and looked at the churning water. But my brother didnt resurface. Lexi and I stood there for what felt like an eternity, until we were so remote from shore and sky that it felt as though we were suspended in blackness.Then, when the sun finally peeked its red head over the watery horizon, we went inside the dimly lit cabin to face our future.